she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
