there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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