I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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