WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We had to coat check the pizza.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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