dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
