Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
