We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
