You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
