College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
