Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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