I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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