Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
