Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My bed smells like the plague
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
