and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
