You're so nebulous sometimes
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
