apparently the secret to your success is patron
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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