We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
