Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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