omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
