he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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