i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize