you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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