o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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