I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Randomize
