I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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