peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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