I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
