I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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