i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
