i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
