I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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