THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's no shave November. This is our time.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
