Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
