I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
