Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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