my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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