I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
