You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
