No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
