Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
