Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She is in my trunk
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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