At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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