I feel like abortions should bother me more
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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