her vagine was all disorganized.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
there is glitter all over my balls
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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