I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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