so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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