so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
