you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
