So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
