He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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